An Idiot in America

imagesCACUHBKEI have seen the TV series “An Idiot Abroad” and I must say I don’t find the guy very idiotic at all. In fact, I think he is a very smart cookie and just playing a role. To find a real idiot, you need to stay a while at my house.

Let me give you an example:

This morning I wanted to run an extra phone line from the guest bedroom into the office. Because I switched from a wireless Internet provider to telephone DSL, the only way to have an office phone was to run a separate phone line, which meant I would have to drill a small hole through the bedroom wall close to the floor into the office.

Piece of cake – I had a very long 5/8” drill bit and proceeded to drill a hole from the bedroom side toward the office. After completing the hole, I went into the office, got on my hands and knees and looked for the hole. Lo and behold, there was none to be seen! What the hell was going on?, I thought to myself. I went back and forth from room to room scratching my head in total bewilderment. Did I find a hidden dimension or a wormhole? No, I forgot there was a closet in the bedroom and after I drilled the second time in the office wall, I was able to find the hole!

As I headed for our master bedroom to tell my wife the story, she asked if I would bring her a cup of coffee with honey. “Sure, darling,” was my reply. While I was at the coffee pot, I also poured myself a cup and headed for the bedroom and a wife anxious for hot coffee. She took a sip and said she couldn’t taste the honey. “Of course not, darling, there has to be honey in it for you to taste it.” Duh….

After going back to the office so I could finally hook up the DSL, I looked at the new hole in the wall, turned, cussed under my breath and went back to our bedroom and retrieved my coffee.

Not wanting to add insult to injury, it will suffice to say that similar occurrences happen on a daily basis around here. Are all authors as idiotic as I? Let me rephrase the question. Are there any authors stupid enough to admit it in public? I thought not. I stand alone as an idiot in America!

I’m just saying,




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