A Lazy Boy’s Lazy Boy

shopping We went to the furniture store yesterday to look for a lounge chair for the living room. The leather couch we have takes an act of God for me to get out of once it swallows me in admitted comfort. The two swivel chairs opposite the couch also have some measure of comfort, but have low back support which leaves me sitting like a mannequin while I pop Tylenol like peanuts to calm my aching back. I end up twirling round and round to keep my feet from going to sleep.

While at the furniture store, I spotted a Lazy Boy super lounger. After settling in and pulling a lever back slowly, I was treated to near horizontal bliss. I loved the feel of the soft leather and its softness was sublime. I pushed the lever back to its original position and was able to dismount easily. After climbing back on, I pulled the lever back and settled in again.

Spotting a couple of switches not unlike the ones that operate the power windows in my truck, I pushed the first one and the whole chair started a slow vibration cycle that ended up almost putting me asleep. The second button created a heat cycle that was sublime. I had found my Nirvana and neither hell nor high water was going to keep me from having my dream lounger.

I heard a faint voice in the background. As I regained consciousness, I could hear my wife telling me it was time to do my chores. It was then that I realized I had fallen asleep on our leather couch and my Lazy Boy was just a dream. I cannot describe my disappointment as I started the process of trying to get up out of the suction cup of leather that gripped me.

I knew it was too good to be true as I stumbled my way to the tool shed for a rake and the yard work that loomed large in front of me. I can never catch a break.

I’m just saying,




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