Last night was a horrible experience. My dream was one I could not escape; you know, the kind of dream that returns even after you have woken up and gone to the restroom while hoping the whole time when you get back into bed the dream will change, but alas, you wake up later involved in the same idiotic and frightening dreamscape.
This occurrence is so rare with me that it stands out even now, hours after I have dragged my tired body out of bed. Usually I am up very early to work on my blog and Website, but the service is down and there was no real reason to get up. Now I wish I had anyway because my mood is grim and sour. I can’t get the damn dream out of my skull.
Like most dreams that scare or disturb us, this one was no different. It’s hard to describe really – I was always trying to find my way back to the city where I lived, but the trip kept leading me into dark, foreboding places that housed even darker people. They were not monsters, but instead, people lost like me, and all heading for somewhere they could not reach. They reminded me of Zombies, but not the brain eating kind.
It started out with me looking for a job outside the city; why I was on foot escapes me. Nor was I dressed warmly, only a shirt, pants and work boots. The boots I remember distinctly because several times I was trekking through mud and gunk in a refinery of some kind. I hopped on a train that ran through a huge complex and found myself climbing higher on the train structure trying to get a better hold for the ride that unfortunately ended up going the wrong way. At times I could see the freeway to the city in the distance, but always I was going in the wrong direction, either walking or riding.
What made the dream even worse was that it was getting dark and cold and there was no shelter in this dark and damp structure. Even if I could have managed to get outside, I would have nowhere to escape the night. Just that thought alone kept me reaching for blankets and pulling them practically over my head and at the same time praying that the dream would go away.
I would wake for brief moments during my dream feeling totally alone and desolate, even with my wife and two dogs sleeping soundly next to me. The feeling was one of dread that this scenario could be real and that I would wander aimlessly for eternity never finding home and the security it represented. I found it interesting that the home I was dreaming of was when I was a younger man; in fact, I think in the dream I was in my late twenties.
I know nothing of dream interpretations, but this I do know. Our lives can end up just like my dream in a heartbeat. Natural and other disasters rip apart lives and people become wanderers in the same kind of grim dreamscapes like in my dream. Only this time it is for real, and the huge, damp and dark structure you are walking through is what is left of your town.
No place in our country is exempt from disaster. Thank God we Americans are always willing to help each other in times of need. After my dream I now see why help is so very important. It’s not just physical needs; it also includes companionship with others so the feelings of aloneness and desolation are minimized. God bless our fellow Americans and God bless America!