My New Year’s Resolutions for 2015



I will be happy, for tomorrow we die.


I will be thankful for what I have and not keep resenting the fact that I don’t have a new Indian motorcycle.


I will write no more political blogs forever.


I will practice saying “Yes, dear” and mean it.


I will do chores joyfully because I have to do them regardless.


I will wash my wife’s car occasionally before it looks like a dog turd on wheels while my truck is always spotless.


I will do laundry occasionally and not leave the clean wash in the machine until some kind of funky growth appears on the clothing.


I will remove and fold clothes from the dryer before the wrinkles are set for the duration.


I will put large garbage bags in the trash container that is picked up weekly and not throw nasty garbage into a bare trash container – thus growing yet another batch of funky growth with the capability of wiping out all life in the city.


Last, but not least…I will pick up dog poop from the back yard with a smile on my face while internally gagging to the point of convulsions.


I am just saying,



One response »

  1. Sounds like you could care less about the environment. Just keep on using that plastic. It’s going to be banned throughout the country soon enough. Of course you won’t be around to suffer from your own actions, but my kids will. Thank you so much for your selfishness.

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