I have been wandering around the house since 1:00 a.m. trying to think of something profound and new about which to write a blog – a subject that people can relate to and comment upon without it being lewd, crude or otherwise disgusting. It is now 3:33 a.m. and I am no closer to writing the gem than earlier.
I know, how about an exposé on aliens? No, that subject is used up like an old sock.
What about politicians? Not only no, but hell no; that subject makes me want to puke.
OK, how about creationism with an Earth that is only 5,000 years old. Guess not – everyone and their mother knows the Earth is much, much older.
How about Jesus was married and had children? So what, his words were the important thing.
I could write about the Mayan calendar ending December 21, 2012, but frankly, I don’t give a damn. My calendar will end December 31, just as it has every year I have been alive. No big secret there!
The bloodsucking Chupacabra, Big Foot, swamp ape, Bessie (the sea monster), giant squid, vampires, ghosts and other assorted creatures, real and unreal, have been written about until the cows came home. Nothing new to add there….
There is my evil twin brother in the novel “Evil in the Mirror.” No good, I already wrote about him – likewise with Otis Buford in “Day Stalker.”
This really sucks; I am starting to bore myself with this whole fiasco. It seems my writing days may be coming to an end. Hold the phone; I have an idea. Why not do what so many before me have done and quite successfully, I might add. Why not plagiarize the good stuff from Facebook and post it as my own? Aw, crap, I have already done that too!
Swell, there is only one solution for this dilemma. Everyday will have to be Sunday Funnies day. Lord knows there is no lack of tasteless, but funny jokes bouncing around the Internet on a daily basis.
For the three readers who expect a witty blog from me everyday, I am truly sorry. For the six billion, minus three, other people on the planet it won’t matter one iota!
I am just saying,