Most people know that the speed of light is 186,000 miles per second. I am wondering what the speed of a thought is. The instant someone thinks something fascinates me because I believe it happens faster than the speed of light. While Albert Einstein professed that nothing could go faster than the speed of light – I beg to differ.
OK, I know what you are thinking; what right does a murder mystery author have questioning the great Albert Einstein? Am I a science professor, research scientist or mathematician? No, but I know things just the same. For example: I have a thought and that thought causes me to write or speak before I have the opportunity to think about what I am writing or saying. The result: I have instant foot and mouth disease of which there is no known cure.
When this faster-than-light process occurs, there is no turning back or wishing yourself into another dimension so as to not bear the wrath of the person, or persons, you have just offended. Most of the time it is my wife or mother-in-law, but sometimes it can happen to friends or relatives who are no less offended. Oh, and let’s not forget the ex-Facebook friends who have unfriended me, also at the speed of thought.
It’s that instant when you know the stuff is going to hit the fan and there is nothing in the universe that can change the result. We are talking about that millisecond when you speak or write just before a black hole swallows you up and spits out a perfect idiot. I have had the phenomena happen to me many times, and thus, I have been an idiot many times! I have even been multiple idiots simultaneously. This happens when a person sticks both their feet in their mouth at the same time. It is no wonder I ponder this question with such vigor. Soon I will run out of relatives, friends, wives and mothers-in-laws.
The whole “think before you speak or write” thing has been a challenge for me all my life, but I have finally come up with a simple cure. It’s called duct tape and boxing gloves – thus, “speak no evil; write no evil.”